miércoles, noviembre 08, 2006

Decalogo del tortolero

Estimados clientes y amigos, estamos a punto de dar inicio a una de las grandes modificaciones del sistema operativo de la cacería de la tórtola. A continuación el Decálogo del Tortolero.

1.- Usted caza tórtolas por que es su deporte favorito, porque tiene tiempo, los medios, y los recursos correspondientes. De no ser así quédese en su hogar cazando gorriones, con su rifle a postón, evitara perder el tiempo y hacerle perder el tiempo a quienes lo acompañan y sobre todo dejar de hacer el soberano ridículo.

2.-La hora de reunión para llegar al coto de caza es sagrada, si el coto es compartido, con mayor razón. No crea que 10 tiradores se darán el lujo de esperarlo a Ud. Tome todas las prevenciones necesarias para evitar malos ratos.

3.-Usted a contratado un lugar en el coto, no ande tratando de sobornar al guía para que diga cual es la mejor postura, eso es ser desleal con sus propios compañeros, el coto tiene la suficiente ave para que todos tiren normalmente.

4.-Una vez elegido el lugar usted gritara coto, tendrá sus 50 metros de radio correspondiente para disparar si la postura le resulto muy buena, baje y recoja, no se ponga como enajenado mental a disparar sin recoger acuérdese que en el potrero hay mas cazadores.

5.-El coto es un lugar de caza, donde el respeto es un ingrediente primordial, no transformemos el coto en una cancha de fútbol de la legua. Cada tórtola acertada es como en el tenis un punto ganado, disfrútelo solo, no haga mofa del resto de los tiradores, el recuento es el que vale.

6.-Si su perro recoge por equivocación una tórtola ajena, usted la presentará a quién realmente la bajó, y al término cordialmente la entregara. No traiga perros mocheros y mal adiestrados, el costo lo puede pagar eternamente.

7.-El licor no se viene con la cacería, son enemigos a muerte, solo trae problemas y serios.

8.-Si su cacería no fue de las mejores, no se ponga a defender lo indefendible. Lo que cazo, cazo, lo demás agrava la falta. Usted viene a disparar, no a guardar los tiros si es por eso dedíquese a la arquería, ahí se recuperan las flechas y puede resultar mas barato, y si hay personas que completaron, con mayor razón calladito.

9.-Nunca, pero jamás nunca, trate de bypasear al guía, con las ganas de repetirse el coto a la mala o dando las coordenadas de donde se encuentra, acuérdese que el guía es de la zona y tarde o temprano sabrá quien estuvo en su potrero. Y sobre todo ahora que la nueva reforma penal, lo protege, en el dominio del potrero, evite ser formalizado en el tribunal correspondiente.

10.-Cuide y respete a su guía de caza, con el podrá tener muy buenas cacerías y otras no tantas, si considera que el hombre no responde entonces cámbielo, puede que el hombrón no este bien perfilado, en la temporada y por ende esta no sea de su agrado. Acuérdese que esto es un trabajo como el suyo, que se debe dedicar tiempo y recursos para brindar una buena atención. La tórtola es un recurso escaso, por lo mismo cuesta encontrar buenos lugares de caza, es por esto que tiene un costo. Haga patria dispare en chile.

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